General
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“Ask me to come by, tell me I’ll wake up in your arms…”
One of my goals for the year was spending more time with my friends and growing those friendships which have been helping to pull me out of my depressive episodes. I’m happy to say that so far in January, I’ve gotten to spend time with friends twice. One of them was for a friend’s birthday at the beginning of the month, and on Saturday some of us gathered again to celebrate a different friend’s birthday.
We went to a place in the Charlotte area that was doing karaoke. I did not get up in front of everyone to sing, but I did sing along from my seat while some of those friends belted out amazing renditions of their chosen songs. I also happened to see some folks that I hadn’t seen in like 7 years! It was great to see them again, meet one of the friend’s spouse who I love, and honestly can’t wait to hang out with again.
It was a wonderful weekend. I’m truly blessed to know these people.
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“Look at you, cool guy, you got it…”
If I’m being honest… AI worries me. I get that it can make things easier, that our lives can be better with some of the things Artificial Intelligence can do for us. However…
I don’t like the idea of using AI to create things like art or music. I realize I may be in the minority on this. I know someone personally that has used AI to create books that they sell on Amazon (including coloring books that, to be honest, aren’t the greatest because of errors that a human would have noticed). They use AI to create music (both by writing lyrics and generating the music). They use AI to create avatars and to even have full-on conversations on websites in order to create content.
It just all feels ingenuine.
The person that I mentioned will send me audio clips to listen to for some feedback on a song that their AI program created. They fully intend on releasing some of this music on the streaming platforms and even have an AI-generated “person” as the album artwork and such.
That really, really bothers me.
I love music and art. Many times when I find a song I like, I dig in to see what the other songs by that artist are like. I look up tour dates, I check out their online presence, I really want to do my research to see what kind of person/people have created the art I had been enjoying.
If I were to come across this AI-generated artist, I fully believe that the person I know will have used AI to generate social media posts and maybe even generated images of that avatar performing shows that never actually happened. I wouldn’t put it past them.
While I understand there are many AI things out there like music and art, and that I may have even been someone to enjoy what they’ve created, I would really rather my art be created by someone with a pulse, not microchips and processors.
Just my two cents.
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“I will be there, I will be the smallest piece in everything…”
I have found an amazing chosen family.
We had a Friendsgiving a couple weekends ago. My best friends are people I met through our “podcast group”. One of my friends from many years ago started a podcast (a couple of years back), and it’s turned into a big community of friends. There’s a lot of different things that we do in this community (game nights, podcast, book club, etc). A month or so back, I asked about building a website for the community. I launched it last Wednesday, by the way.
But I digress…
At our Friendsgiving, we were told there’s a video going live on the YouTube at 8pm so we all had to be present to watch. At 8pm sharp, we were all in the living room at my friend’s house… watching.
The video that started playing was a Thank You video. For ME. Many of the community members had recorded a thank you video and the podcast / community leader compiled them all into a 6 minute video.
They also handed me a thank you card.
I cried, y’all. I cried and cried. I still get teary when I think about it and watch the video.
I have watched that video about once a day (sometimes more) and looked at the card more times than I can count.
My chosen family means the world to me. (My blood family does too, but that’s not the point of this post.) I am truly blessed to know them. These people have good in their hearts, they have love in their spirit, they have raggedy in their veins. (hahaha). I love them so very much. I’d do just about anything for them.
They’re my people. <3
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“If everything is nothing, then are we anything?”
It’s funny how certain things invoke nostalgia…
This morning on my way into work I bought a bag of Halloween candy. An assorted mix with Reeses, KitKat, Whoppers, Hershey’s bars, etc. I keep the candy bowl stocked up in the office for customers (and us), and I like to keep the good stuff on hand. We had been out for a few weeks and I decided that today was the day.
While eating my lunch, I grabbed a couple of the Reeses pumpkins and a pack of the Whoppers.
I had forgotten how much I love Whoppers, and how every time I eat them they remind me of Halloween when I was a kid. I remember trick-or-treating in the cold weather. I remember our candy bowl at home having Milk Duds and Whoppers for any trick-or-treaters that stopped by our house. Fall is my favorite time of year, and this candy just makes me feel like a kid again.
Happy memories. <3
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“I want you to notice when I’m not around…”
Good grief it has been a busy day so far. And the day is only about 2/3 over!
Got up, did a little meditation. Got on Fortnite for about an hour. Hopped off to go do yardwork and cleaning stuff. About 1:30 decided we needed food, so I made pancakes and eggs. Then went back out to mow the yard some more. Then I came in to shower…
I’ll be drying my hair soon then going to the grocery store. Meeting up with some out of town family for dinner at 6, then coming home to play some more video games. Gonna be a heck of a day!
Funny thing. I had saved this as a draft before heading to the grocery store. I was listening to Creep which is why the song lyrics are the title of the blog post…
Apparently somebody did notice when I wasn’t around. I got a few texts and a phone call (which I couldn’t answer really due to the fact that I was in the middle of nowhere with no good signal). It’s nice to be missed.
Ok, time to get on Fortnite now. Later friends.
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Mantras and affirmations
So I’m trying to manifest some stuff.
I don’t chase, I attract.
What ever I desire, desires me more.It’s about time I get treated the way I deserve.
I’m tired of running around with my feelings in charge.Whatever is mine will find me.
Whomever is mine will put forth the effort and I won’t have to wonder.
I’m about to get a very big blessing.
That’s all for now.
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“I’m waiting, waiting…”
I feel like I hide in the shadows a lot.
I mean, I feel like I’m justified in that considering the stuff I’ve been through and how I’m not trying to draw attention to myself… but sometimes you just wanna be part of the fun. You want your tiny little sliver of spotlight so you can show others the true you, your fun self.
I wish others could get to know that side of me. I wish I would let others see it.
All in due time I guess.
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We gotchu, sis. <3
Today a friend is having a hard time. It’s the anniversary of the death of her brother. They were very close.
She had warned us (the ladies in our “Girl Talk” chat on FB) that she may be quiet today… so we’re all outpouring some love and encouragement to her.
I told the ladies I thought about sending her a Starbucks drink but wasn’t sure if her husband would know her order… so one of the other ladies that had his number texted him and asked.
I’m super impressed because dude knew her order down to the last detail, like the extra caramel drizzle on top. THAT is a good husband.
Now we’re discussing either sending them dinner via Door Dash, or maybe sending her some self-care stuff from Ulta or Sephora.
I just wanna make her day a little brighter. I may not know what it feels like to lose a sibling, but I do know how hard loss can hit, especially on the anniversary days.
