I am trying and I am worthy.

It’s difficult to deal with mental illness.

(I feel like I say that a lot.)

It is difficult, BUT, I am trying.

Trying to acknowledge my shortcomings, my anxiety and my depression and my codependency. Trying to not make the same choices that lead me to making myself upset and worse.

One thing I have decided, though…

I’m not going to stop being me.

I have a big heart. I’m caring. I’m funny. I want the best for people. I will do whatever I can to make sure others are happy.

A lot of the time I feel like I’m being annoying or I’m being a bother. Nobody has said those words, it just is that negative self-talk and my anxiousness.

I wouldn’t be true to myself if I stopped checking in with certain people… if I stopped doing the things that I think are nice and let people know that I care…

However…

if I feel like you don’t want me in your life, if you don’t make much of an effort to be in mine, if you know I’ve been sick for days and you go the whole freaking weekend without checking in on me?

I see where I stand. And believe me, that will change your rank of importance in my life.

I’m a very understanding person. I’m a patient person. But I’m also worthy of having someone in my life that cares about me, that loves me, that respects me and my feelings.