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“Something in the way you move…”
Hi friendos.
Been going ‘through it’ emotionally.
I hope you all had a blessed and happy and healthy holiday season.
The new year is upon us, and we are already moving at warp speed.
It’s so funny how time actually flies by.
Anyway, I think this is the year that I start loving myself more.
I already have five (very realistic) resolutions for 2024:
- See more live music
- Make more art (at least one art project per month)
- Take more pictures
- Keep a gratitude calendar
- Lose *some* weight.
Doing all of those things will help with my happiness, both with life in general and with myself.
2024 is going to be MY year. It can be your year too, but it’s also going to be mine. <3
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“You seem to think there’s more to the illusion,
I think I’ve lost my thought…”Over a week ago (Aug 17th), a friend and I made “plans” to meet up for last night (Aug 24th).
They weren’t definitive plans, as we had only picked a day and not the activity.
Wednesday, friend had the day off work. They didn’t message much, so I didn’t think too much of it… but we hadn’t really set plans for the next day so I was really curious. Probably to the level of obsessing about it. (Ok, so I guess I did think too much of them not talking to me much.)
Yesterday rolls around, and I send a morning message. They reply not too long after it, and I was told they had went on an overnight trip with some family, and would be driving back sometime yesterday. Cool, I hope they had a great time with their family! Those trips can be fun or… not so fun if your family is annoying or you don’t get along (haha).
But then — *radio silence* … I wonder if they ever got back so I sent a text around 4pm. I got off work at 5 and there was no reply yet. I decided on the way home that I was going to go to trivia night at a bar in town, by myself, if my friend didn’t reply. I get home, feed the cat, feed the dogs… then tell my son I’m gonna go to trivia and asked if he wanted to come along. (He didn’t.)
So I start getting ready. I go all out – I curl my hair, I do some really freaking cute makeup, I even wear foundation and stuff! (Which is rare for me, but I really wanted to look pretty. And I did.)
Friend replies back at 6:15 saying they did make it back. I replied “That’s good 🙂 ” about 5 minutes later. Then silence again… 15 minutes(ish) later, I sent a text asking if they did want to go hang out or do something tonight, and that if they didn’t want to it was ok, I just wasn’t sure.
**more silence**
I tell my oldest I’m heading out, and I go. I drive to the gas station, put a few dollars of gas in my car, then drive over to the place where trivia is being held.
I park across the street. I can see the entrance and the amount of people going in.
And I couldn’t make myself get out of the car.
I sat there for a good 20 minutes before I told myself just to leave, that I certainly wasn’t going in by myself. Then I beat myself up over it for a while.
I made a Facebook post saying :
I envy those of you without crippling anxiety.
I decided to go to a trivia night by myself. I couldn’t even get out of the car. 🙁 Maybe next time I can do it.And I started the drive home.
My friend JR called. He’s a really good friend, just lives about 2 hours away. He has known I’m going through some mental struggles, and I’m betting he saw my post then decided to call.
We talked for over an hour. In our first 5 minutes of chatting, friend from earlier texted saying that they were sorry, they just got my message and they don’t know how they overlooked it. I didn’t reply until I got home, while I was still on the call with my friend.
But JR asked something that’s festered… aside from the general ‘being a woman alone at a bar’, was there anything else that triggered the anxiety? He and I were still talking when the answer came to me, but I didn’t share. It’s a very personal part of my past that I’m still working through.
The answer is tied to my deceased spouse. It’s difficult to talk about him and the trauma that he put me through. Just know that I recognize (now) that’s where the anxiety stems from.
I believe I can go to concerts alone. (I may have to very soon, just due to some of the shows that I want to see being during the week when others can’t take off.) I can go shopping alone. I can go to restaurants alone. But I couldn’t take myself into a bar to go play trivia alone.
And I keep beating myself up over it.
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“Suicidal Kamikaze, becomes less charming as I’m talking…”
Ever feel like there’s so many thought-trains happening in your head that you struggle to keep everything on the right track?
I’m having one of those moments.
On the one hand, I want to talk about the f!/c$@& audacity that this one person in my life has. I can’t get behind this person’s actions nor do I understand their thoughts. But, in the words of someone I talk to frequently, “they are exactly where they want to be.” **throws hands into air**
The other hand has a burning question… butterflies when talking to a person you may be (but probably shouldn’t be) interested in – good or bad? I’ve seen people say that butterflies are bad, they are your gut feeling being mislabeled, your body is trying to alert you to something and you’re taking it as excitement and curiosity, and you should wait for the person that doesn’t give you butterflies. But then, some believe that the butterflies are actually a good feeling, it show’s excitement and blah blah blah. And then there’s me, who finds myself in an odd place. Not gonna elaborate in case they find this blog 😂 but… let’s just say there’s a comfort there.
On the other train track is the thought of starting a radio show or podcast. A friend was doing a radio show and they’re taking a break for a few months. I started thinking about maybe just doing an hour long show and mostly playing music, having a different themed playlist each week… occasionally talking about the songs or artists… maybe bringing a guest host at times. I dunno, it was a thought. Something I’m pondering.
One of the other train tracks has me said that I’m not able to game much right now. My home internet is straight garbage. I miss Fortnite. I also want to play Palia, but I’m not a PC gamer. 🥲 I have to wait until it comes out for the Switch.
Ok that’s enough for now. All aboard the loco-motives! We are pulling out of the station going towards the kitchen for some ice cream. 🤣
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I’m kind of obsessed…
with my dog.
She’s been cuddling lately, which is something she did for a very brief period of her puppyhood, but now she’s almost 2 and it’s been quite some time since she willingly cuddled with me.
After work yesterday it was busy for me. Fed the dogs, fed the cat, cleaned the cat box / swept the cat area, swept the kitchen and living room, made brinner (breakfast for dinner: eggs, bacon, and chocolate chip pancakes), ate, washed the dishes after dinner… then I changed into my pajamas, washed my face, and crawled into bed around 8pm to relax and play on my phone until I fell asleep.
This girl jumped up onto the bed and lay down on what I’ve dubbed “her pillow”. It’s the more comfy one with a satin pillowcase. I don’t mind, she’s the best girl and deserves comfort. But then she snuggled with me. Melted my heart.
I love her so freaking much. Pets are the best. <3
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“Everything else felt so unimportant…”
Last night as I was laying in bed, scrolling through my phone while in the dark, something caught my eye. I stop what I’m doing and focus on it… then it moves closer…
Y’all. There was a spider crawling on my comforter VERY CLOSE TO MY ARM. 😳 Normally I don’t freak out about spiders, as long as they keep their distance. But one making a move to my actual body?! Oh no no no no no siree no way no how. I swipe my hand across the comforter and turn the light on, trying to find the sucker.
I fluffed the comforter a few times – it didn’t appear to be there.
I moved the pillows off the bed – it didn’t appear to be hiding under those.
I kicked a few things around in the floor, I moved things off the nightstand, I moved the curtains – No Spidey anywhere!
…lil sucker escaped. 😨
I didn’t sleep well. 😂
Tonight I decided to rearrange my bedroom. I think I’ll be able to sleep a little better tonight. I hope.
Anyway, just thought I’d share some of my shenanigans. Have a good one y’all.
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“…No it’s not becoming, no it isn’t fine…”
Some of my favorite bands are releasing incredible music.
go listen to I Hope I’m Not Sick by Loveless, friends! 😁I Hope I’m Not Sick – Loveless </3 -
It’s me again Margaret.
Hey y’all! Guess what?
My pinky fingernail is growing back. 😀 I’m able to type again!! Life is good.
Expect me to get back to this blogging thing…
Happy Friday! 🙂
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Hi Friendos, Where Have I Been?
What’s going on, y’all? It’s been a minute. *checks calendar* Wait, it’s been like two months?? Yikes.
To be honest there’s not a ton going on with me. Oh, except that I broke the tips of two of my fingers at work almost 2 weeks ago, AND I fell and got a big cut on my leg. All that resulted in 26 stitches and a lost fingernail. Yay me, right?
It could have been so much worse… I’m very thankful and blessed. Seriously, it was a pure accident and we are now implementing things to make sure accidents like mine don’t happen again.
But yeah… I don’t like the hunt-and-peck typing style. LOL I miss being able to fully type properly.
That is all you get from me today. 🙂 Until next time!
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Hippity hoppity
Easter will be here in just a couple of days.
I’m making brunch for the kids, and giving them the Easter baskets I made.
…that’s it. Then the kids will be going to spend time with their dad’s side of the fam.
My family isn’t gathering on this holiday.
Why?
Multiple reasons. One sister will be out of town… I’ll actually be taking care of her sweet lil ol man pupper while they’re gone… and I’m not really sure what the other two sisters are doing, or what my parents are doing. I figure that they’re all doing the church thing then gathering with their church families for a meal.
Know what’s funny? …I don’t care that much that we haven’t planned anything. In fact, I’m looking forward to not having to stress about anything that day after brunch is made.
I realize that once Sunday gets here I might be lonely or whatever, but hey – I can just text them to check in. 🙂
I hope you all have a joyous Easter.
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“And it’s true that I’m probably not worth the battery life…”
It has taken me a week to feel finally ready to sit and document in detail my night with Nicotine Dolls. I hope y’all are ready for this.
Saturday March 25th, 2023. I met my sister (B1) at her house around 2:45pm then we headed towards Charlotte (after making a slight detour to see the sweetest lil ol’ man pup for a quick couple of minutes). The drive to Charlotte wasn’t very eventful. We listened to Nicotine Dolls and had some good conversation. 🙂
B1 and I have lots of experience road-trippin’ – she’s my OG #1 concert buddy! We were supposed to see Sister Hazel together back in January but something came up on my end so B1 took her oldest in my place. <3 Anyway…
We get to Charlotte and find our way to the parking deck that’s right next to the venue. Easy peasy! We get out and walk a bit because I wanted to confirm where the venue was before we went in search of food.
Found the venue! I saw a van that I assumed was the van the band was traveling in parked right outside the venue. We walked in front of the theatre and I took a couple of pics. How cool is this?!
Venue: located. Now in search of NOMS. We walked towards where we thought food would be and we were wrong… lol. It’s not a B1 & Jenn trip if we don’t get lost, right? So I pull out my phone and open Google Maps to see what’s nearby. I told her a few of the choices and she said she didn’t care, so I picked one… we walked over to it (wasn’t far at all from where we were, and really close to the theatre).
Jack Beagle’s – I had never heard of them but it looked nice! We sat and looked over the menu, and I also looked at their drink menu. They had a drink called the Gooby Snack (Malibu [my favorite], melon liqueur, and pineapple juice) and I needed this in my life. It was actually quite delicious! For food I got The Firehouse bbq sandwich (without the slaw and jalepeno) with the house chips, and B1 got the cheesesteak and chips. This food really hit the spot!
We finished up around 5:30pm and headed back over to the venue to get in line.
Get in line? Well, we started the line. We were the very first ones to actually line up. 🙂 (Which was my hope all along…) B1 and I talked some while other people filed in line behind us. I saw a Dr. Bacon sticker and had to take a picture of it. I explained to B1 that I had seen them a few times in Greensboro, and that they’re friends with some of my musician friends so that was pretty cool.
I hear the couple behind us say “Is that them?! That’s them!” And I turned and saw that same van from earlier. I spoke up and said that I saw that van outside the venue earlier when we first got here, but this time I saw Merritt driving and Abel in the passenger seat – undeniably the band! Sam hops out and says to all of us “Are you all waiting in line?!” like he couldn’t believe somebody would be lined up a full hour before doors opened for the show… the couple that was behind us asked if they could get some pics with the band and my nerves went into overdrive… Y’all don’t understand how much I love this band and how excited I was that I would get to witness this show with my own two eyeballs and earballs. But holy crap Sam and the whole freaking band were right there, mere feet away from me. I just kinda smiled but shut down internally. LOL! When the band finished saying hi and taking a few pics and were walking away, the couple was talking about how cool that was and I spoke up saying I was scared to death to ask for a pic. They laughed and said “but they’re so nice! Look the whole band is right there, when are you gonna get this chance again?” I still shook my head and ‘noped’ for the next few minutes. (Dork.)
The doors open at almost exactly 7:00pm and B1 and I go through security, get our tickets scanned, then practically rush over to the stage to get our spots right up front at the barrier and pretty centered of the stage. The couple from the line came in right behind us and stood to our left. I noticed the merch table at the back and the wife of the couple went over to check it out while B1 went to the bathroom. I (getting out of my comfort zone) introduced myself to the husband (Jeff/Geoff/Jeffrey/Geoffrey? I can’t remember if it was Jeff or Jeffrey and I’m sorry) and had remembered his wife telling Sam they traveled up from South Carolina so I asked him where in SC they were from. Dude seemed like he didn’t want to talk to me much so I dropped the conversation after that. When his wife came back I introduced myself to her (Rachel) and chatted for a few minutes. We basically agreed that the four of us would work together to ensure we kept these spots right at the front. (Hahaha)
The opener for the show was a lovely person by the name of Carly Taich. What an amazing voice! She’s from the Asheville, NC area which makes me happy, because AVL isn’t that far from home and I can make plans to go see her again soon.
Sidenote: this is one thing I love about going to live music shows. You can hear new bands and musicians that you literally have never heard of before and find ones that you really like! Of course the opposite can happen and you find some that just make you want to cover your ears… but I’ve had more positive experiences than negative. In fact, there are many times I have gone to shows JUST to hear the opening band and not the headliner! But I digress…
Carly blew me away with her voice. Her lyrics are wonderful and I really can’t wait to listen to some more of her songs. That’s all I’m gonna say about her (until I see her again).
Now to the main event… Nicotine Dolls take the stage!
It’s so funny because Sam comes on stage wearing some sunglasses, which he tells us belong to Merritt. He kept them on for the first song, Should Have Danced. I was going to record practically all of the songs, but decided that I would rather just BE THERE in the moment, singing my heart out, dancing, and taking it all in. <3 (That doesn’t mean I didn’t record anything, I was just selective about what I got.)
Second song was Hands, which was so great to hear live. Third song was 2 Weaks and woah buddy does that one slap! One of my favorite Nicotine Dolls songs ever (well, up to this point in life) and hearing it live was just *chef’s kiss*.
Then they stopped to do a little talking… telling us about their tour-mantra. Yes, there are some songs that we will know. But there’s going to be some songs they play during the show that we don’t know. And when it comes to those songs, (I think they wanted us to say…) “We don’t know that sh!t” (hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa). Next song was called Untapped, which is one of the new ones. I’ve heard parts of this on the Nicotine Dolls TikTok page, so I knew some of it… but it’s incredible.
*Note: I had my phone resting on the barrier in front of me, and that’s what caused the wobbly-ness. Sorry. Wouldn’t ya know, Sam broke a string during this one! The band had an impromptu meeting on stage, then you see John literally sprint out of the room when Sam comes back to the mic to talk. He says they are gonna play a song, but they’re not gonna play the whole thing. This is the song that introduced me to the Dolls, believe it or not. This cover/mashup was on Tiktok and it led me to their YouTube which had me hooked. Listened to all of their stuff and became a bit obsessed. Anway, enjoy the version from the show…
Now to be fair, on the setlist (which will be discussed later) it says “Cover” for this part of the set, so I’m really curious what song they were originally supposed to do in this spot. (Sam, John, Merritt, Abel – anyone want to give me the scoop?)
Back to the show… the next song we got was Till We Both Say which is an absolute masterpiece. Next song was A Real House which is a new one, but again I’ve heard some of it on TikTok.
The next song in the lineup was Slip – and y’all… this is another new one that I saw a bit of on Tiktok and holy moly guacamole ravioli… it’s so incredible. I’m prediciting that this is going to be the favorite off of the new Nicotine Dolls album (whenever we get it). I wish, I wish, I WISH that I would have recorded this one. I did get the next song though, which was a cover of Go West’s King of Wishful Thinking.
I loved that song back in the day, and I’ve seen a couple videos of Sam covering it on Tiktok. It was great to see it live! Next up we got another new one called How Do You Love Me.
Again, I had seen pieces of this one online and this will probably be my second favorite from whatever new album they decide to release. <3 The lyrics just get me. They’re incredible songwriters, if you couldn’t tell.
The next song in the lineup is listed as 30 Somehow on the setlist. I did record this one but I didn’t upload it. I’m not sure if this is a new song or a cover song (I assume it’s not a cover because they didn’t list it as a cover?), or if this is a way older song I have never heard… but wow. I may upload it later on… I just know there was a point where Sam sang the wrong lyrics then restarted and I don’t want that living on the internets in infamy. (We already have the oopsie of restarting Till We Both Say instead of going into How Do You Love Me ((which I do have that recorded also, but didn’t upload that part)), so I didn’t want more oopsies on the interwebs.)
After that, we got Upset the Neighbors which is such a fun song!!! Loved singing that one loud and doing a little dancey-dance. Last song was The Madness which in my opinion is kind of a weird song to end on… like why not reverse those two in the list? End on a high note? But I digress (again)…
Then the guys start coming off stage. Rachel got John’s set list (I believe). Then Merritt gave his to someone to my right. Rachel saw another set list (Sam’s) still sitting on the stage and as Merritt is coming down the steps, she asks him if she can have it. He turned around and got it for her – then she gave it to ME. :-O I got a setlist from the show!!!!!!!!! I couldn’t believe it!
The guys did have two other songs listed as their encore songs, so they came back a couple of minutes later to give us the encore.
Some guy had been yelling “Freebird!” during most of the show, and when the guys came back dude was still yelling it. Sam acknowledged him and told him that he wasn’t going to play it. I said to B1 that I was going to tell Sam about the Freebird story from one of our Bain Mattox concert experiences and she laughed because she understood… and agreed.
So after addressing the Freebird situation, Sam starts asking about couples that have been together the longest. Two different couples got chosen to come up by the stage in front of the barrier, one had been together for 4 years and the other for 10 years. The band did a new song called Doubled which broke me inside and made me cry. Definitely not a song that you want to hear when you’re single…
After that we got the true last song of the night, What Makes You Sad. This is the song that Sam performed on America’s Got Talent. This song was featured in the TV series The Good Doctor. This song is blowing up for the band and I couldn’t be more excited for them! After they sang, they let the entire venue know that we could meet them at the merch table in the back. Once they got off stage and the lights came up, the ENTIRE VENUE full of people got in line to talk to them.
Cue my anxiety!! I told B1 we were gonna step to the side and let the line die down… which we did. We waited and waited and waited for the line to go down. One of the venue staff came over to us and asked “Hey weren’t you two the first in line?” and we said yes. He gave us a poster (I let B1 have it since I had the setlist). That was so nice of him to give that to us!!
The line starts thinning out and I finally feel OK enough to get in line. We’re getting closer and closer to the guys and all of a sudden I see Abel walking out. I guess he had enough of socializing and wanted to get away… so I didn’t get to meet him. It’s a shame, he’s a very talented drummer and I really wanted to meet him! But it was fine, I’ll get another chance someday.
I liked being at the end of the line because I wouldn’t feel rushed when talking to the guys… but my anxiety started getting the best of me. Holy crap I’m gonna get to talk to them. I’m gonna goof this up, I swear. Why am I such a wreck? They don’t know me, I’m sure they’ll never even think of me again after this but I’m gonna remember this for the rest of my life. Don’t mess this up Jenn!
Wouldn’t you know it – a couple got in line behind us and that threw my anxiety into overdrive. Ugh. I was originally planning to get a t-shirt and/or a poster, but I couldn’t focus. I told myself I’ll just go online and get one of the newer designs of t-shirts (and I still will do that). B1 had the guys sign the venue poster that she was given. The guys seemed really happy to see the venue poster, I’m sure they had spent all of the night signing the one they were selling so that was a welcome change. Of course I had them sign the set list I got.
John was first, and he signed it in purple sharpie which was awesome. Then Merritt signed, then Will (keyboard) and then Sam. When Sam saw the setlist he looks at us and says “What was your favorite song?” I pointed to Doubled and said “Well, this one made me very sad and had me crying, so I don’t appreciate that one“… then I pointed to Slip and said “But Slip… that’s my absolute favorite. I love it.” And then Sam drew a heart next to it. (Y’all! I can’t… I can’t stop smiling.)
I asked if we could get a picture, and he said “Sure!” then we walked over to the side. The rest of the band (minus Abel) came over and we took a few pics. Then B1 jumped into some of the pics. As I was thanking them and turning to go, B1 reminds me… “Freebird.”
“Oh! Right. Sam, so the next time somebody is annoyingly yelling for Freebird…”
“Yes!?”
“Well, all you have to do is this” **flips bird** “and tell them, ‘Here you go!'”
The guys laughed at that… some of them really enjoyed that idea. I think Sam thought it was funny but probably didn’t think he could actually do that to the audience, then I felt like a moron for even bringing this up. ((Y’all, I flipped off Sam Ceiri. I don’t think I’m ever going to recover from that.))
I was still very anxious and rushed out the door. We got back to my car and I drove the hour plus to B1’s house, but on the way of course we go through a license check. Was quick and painless though. After dropping B1 off around 1am, I made it home about 15 minutes later. Got yelled at by the dog (she’s very vocal), got hugs and kisses from her also, changed into my comfy clothes then watched the videos that I had taken.
What an amazing night. I really, truly can’t wait to see Nicotine Dolls again. <3
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Misplaced Anger, Perhaps?
I had someone get really angry with me tonight… all because I haven’t texted them since Wednesday.
This person consistently replies to my messages with reactions or emojis about 90% of the time. This person seemingly expects me to message them first, always. This person doesn’t really ask about what’s going on in my life or even about my day, when I made a point to ask how their morning/day/night was going pretty much daily. This person started ignoring their phone (or maybe just my messages?) on weekends… so I stopped messaging on weekends. This person is so hot-and-cold about talking to me, it really made me feel like they didn’t want to talk to me. So, I stopped talking. I stopped making an effort.
Look. If you value somebody, if they are somebody you are flirty with or actually want some kind of relationship with? Don’t jerk them around. Give them time and attention. I understand that you’re busy with your business and your family and whatever extracurriculars you have going on – just understand I need more time and attention than you are willing to give me.
I’m pretty sure he blocked me. And ya know what? That’s ok. He’s allowed to do whatever he feels like he needs to do. I don’t think it’s fair for all the blame to be on me, but if that’s what it takes to feel better then go for it, bruh.
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Oof.
Being a mom is something I’m super duper proud of. I love my children more than I love myself (which is probably unhealthy but it is what it is).
Handling their heartbreaks is one of the toughest things I’ve had to endure with them. Do I give advice? Do I try to see both sides of the situation? Do I turn into an angry woman because someone has wronged my (not-so-little) boy?
No.
I give hugs. I let them know I’m here if they want to talk. When they are ready to talk, I give some advice, even if it hurts, I love them harder… and I feed him, because apparently he hasn’t eaten in two days.
Chinese food helps. So does Ice Cream.
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Magical isn’t even a good word to describe it…
Y’all. Friendos.
Tonight I saw one of my top 5 bands — FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.
I’m so excited to do a big write up for you!
Stay tuned for the scoop on Nicotine Dolls in Charlotte NC!
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I am trying and I am worthy.
It’s difficult to deal with mental illness.
(I feel like I say that a lot.)
It is difficult, BUT, I am trying.
Trying to acknowledge my shortcomings, my anxiety and my depression and my codependency. Trying to not make the same choices that lead me to making myself upset and worse.
One thing I have decided, though…
I’m not going to stop being me.
I have a big heart. I’m caring. I’m funny. I want the best for people. I will do whatever I can to make sure others are happy.
A lot of the time I feel like I’m being annoying or I’m being a bother. Nobody has said those words, it just is that negative self-talk and my anxiousness.
I wouldn’t be true to myself if I stopped checking in with certain people… if I stopped doing the things that I think are nice and let people know that I care…
However…
if I feel like you don’t want me in your life, if you don’t make much of an effort to be in mine, if you know I’ve been sick for days and you go the whole freaking weekend without checking in on me?
I see where I stand. And believe me, that will change your rank of importance in my life.
I’m a very understanding person. I’m a patient person. But I’m also worthy of having someone in my life that cares about me, that loves me, that respects me and my feelings.
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“It’s like the f*ckin’ Mormon Tabernacle…”
(Continued from Part 1 of the evening’s story.)
Approximately 8:30pm, Matt Nathanson and band take the stage. The (little bit broken) Citgo sign on stage just sets the mood perfectly. I took some videos during the show, and I have posted them to YouTube. I took some of them in landscape mode and some in portrait mode, I couldn’t really tell you why. (LOL, just enjoy the videos as we get to them.)
We start the evening with Boston Accent, the title track from the new album. Such a fun singalong song with the “la la la la la, la la la la”s at the end. We move into Car Crash, such an amazing song. Next up is Kinks Shirt and then we move into Run…
Next up we get the pleasure of hearing German Cars. What an incredible song. From that we bounce into Headphones, which was a blast to sing at the top of my lungs. And from there, we get the fun lil ditty created by none other than Prince… Starfish and Coffee. In the video you’ll see where MN was teaching us all the chorus and having so much fun with it.
I remember seeing him play that during one of his “Lockdown Livestreams” on YouTube, and it was such a fun song! He told the story behind the song and it is truly just a good time. 🙂
Next song on the list was Soundtrack, which I freaking love. A fantastic love song for sure.
Then we got some throwback songs, back to the Some Mad Hope and Beneath These Fireworks albums. All We Are, Sad Songs, Curve of the Earth, Angel, I Saw… (The setlist says we also got Bent but I think they may have skipped that one due to MN not feeling well… either that or I was truly just spaced out and can’t remember them playing it..)
One of my favorite songs from the Sings His Sad Heart album was next, Used to Be. Then, friendos, one of the MN songs that gives me life… Faster! Video does include MN and Aaron giving us a tutorial on when to do the *clap*.
We were treated to yet another cover song: Never Tear Us Apart (INXS cover). So freaking good, and I wasn’t expecting to hear this one! Then we got the classic Come On Get Higher, a song that even non-MN fans might have heard… and the show closed with Suspended. (There was one more song on the set list, but again I think they skipped it due to MN not feeling well.) You see the title of this post? That phrase was uttered during this song performance… he’s not wrong.
When the show ended, I waited around for a bit. You know, just in case. But after a couple of minutes the crew started clearing off the stage. Jenny got her hands on one of the set lists and let me snap a quick pic of it…
Oh, and remember the merch I talked about that the VIPs got? Jenny gave me one of their posters. <3
“You were in a black dress… Bowie in the kitchen… pigeons on your balcony…” Jenny and Jason, you have no idea how much I appreciate you two. I hope our paths cross again in the future… heck, or even online! I’d love to say hi again! It’s also in one of these videos where MN basically gives you permission to hang out with his kid, too… lol. So you have video proof of such. 😉
A walked me back to my car in the parking deck, then I drove him to his Jeep, and we went our separate ways. I got home around midnight, got 6 hours of sleep, then it was back to work like nothing spectacular had happened the night before.
But it was truly a magical night that I won’t ever forget. <3
Thank you Stephen Kellogg, Matty Nay, Jenny, Jason, and A for making Valentine’s Day 2023 so amazing.
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“Some of you are like, ‘Mike I didn’t come here tonight to do that.’ …It’s Matt, and yes you did.”
When I tell you that Matt Nathanson has been one of my favorite musicians for many years, you’ll just have to believe me. I’m not gonna say I was a fan way, way back when, but there was one song that introduced me to this man’s music. It is to this day my favorite Matty Nay song. It’s called Little Victories. I will write about that song another day…
Today, we are going to discuss what spending Valentine’s Day is like with Matt Nathanson and Stephen Kellogg. Or at least what my experience was a few days ago… their wives have probably had better V-Days with their men. (LOL)
When the Boston Accent Winter Tour was announced via email list and I saw the TWO North Carolina dates (Asheville and Charlotte), I immediately hit up some people on Facebook to see if they were interested in going. Charlotte was a Valentine’s Day show (on a Tuesday, no less), and Asheville was on a Wednesday, so I knew it would probably be difficult for anyone with small children to actually be able to get out to go with me that night – but I wasn’t going to give up!
About a month out, I was talking to another friend of mine (A), and he said he would go to the show with me so I wouldn’t have to go alone. Literally a few minutes later I bought the tickets – there was NO WAY I was going to miss seeing Matt Nathanson!!! ((Backstory, I did get to go to one other MN show, but it was 10 years ago [coincidentally at the same venue] and it was not the best time ever due to who was with me at that time.)) This time I was determined to see this show my way, which meant being as close to the stage as possible and feeling every note that was played and breathing every word that was sung.
Another message went out to the email list notifying us that select shows would have a VIP preshow experience for a $75 ticket price (on top of the show ticket). That’s too rich for me, so I was happy just having my show ticket and I didn’t give it a second thought.
My friend A had to work until 3:30 that day and I left work at noon, so I let him know that I would just go straight to the venue. The show had sold out and I wanted to ensure a good place in line so I got a good spot by the stage! A was going to just meet me there when he got there. I park in the parking deck at 4pm and walk over towards the venue… forgetting my tickets in the car (D’oh!)… so I had to walk BACK to the parking deck then BACK to the venue. I followed the signs towards the entrance only to see about 40 people already in line for the show. “Good thing I got here when I did,” I thought. “Otherwise I’d just have to get on the balcony to get a good view.” More people started filling in behind me in line and I started to worry about A being able to get through once he got there. The couple behind me, Jenny and Jason, were trying to give away some tickets to the show since they had some extras. They had come down from Delaware to attend this show! It was nice to have someone to talk to in line for a bit, we talked about Delaware and Asheville (since they were going to the AVL show the next night too). Definitely made standing in line more fun.
Two employees of Amos Southend came out to check IDs for wrist bands and the VIP experience. I had forgotten all about VIP! Now it made sense why so many people were already lined up! The guy got to my ID and said that I wasn’t on his list, to which I informed him I wasn’t there for VIP but I was just really early for the show. I still got my wristband, and he moved on to the other people in line. About 15 minutes later they opened the doors to the VIP folks, and I stepped aside so they could all get in and get their posters and CDs which were part of the VIP package. After everyone else was in, I noticed one other girl still outside so I walked over to talk to her. We were both just really early for the show. We talked a little bit about how she had free tickets to give away because her friend had to work, and I mentioned my friend was also working and would be there when he could get there.
The guy checking the VIP list motioned for the two of us to come over to him by the doors so we did. “I can go ahead and let you guys in but I can’t give you any of the VIP merch stuff.” **jaw drop** “I don’t care, I’m just excited to get to experience this!” So she and I went in, I texted A to let him know I was inside and for him to let me know when he got there so I could bring him his ticket.
Matt Nathanson during pre-show VIP; Charlotte NC, Amos Southend February 14, 2023. …do you know how difficult it was to not have my phone out recording video this entire time? I snapped ONE picture because I didn’t want to be a distraction. I did get a few audio files, but I didn’t want to be really obvious about those either. (Sidenote: I haven’t listened to them yet. If they’re worth it, I’ll put them here on the blog sometime.) Preshow VIP was amazing, y’all. The banter back and forth with the audience, the questions asked (about The Rock Boat, his songwriting process, who he’d like to record a duet with, and more), the genuine appreciation of these fans in VIP for this musician… it was an incredible experience. Unfortunately, MN did say he has a bit of an upper respiratory thing going on and wasn’t sure how things would sound, but of course he sounded amazing. A did text me about 40 minutes in to let me know he had arrived, so he got to see a bit of the VIP show with me. At one point Jenny had turned around (she was in front of me at the barrier, I was standing next to her husband Jason) and looked surprised to see me. I whispered “They let me in!” and she seemed genuinely excited for me. 😀
When preshow ended, MN went backstage and I got to talk to A for a bit, as well as Jenny and Jason. I also took a minute to run up to the balcony to get a T-shirt! They unfortunately didn’t have women’s sizes, so I got a “Unisex Large” and I’m praying it fits. (I still haven’t put it on yet.)
Boston Accent 2023 Winter Tour T-shirt that I got at the show. About 7:30 Stephen Kellogg came out on stage and gave us a mind-blowing acoustic set broken up with witty banter and fantastic stories. I had never had the pleasure of seeing him live, although I do like a good many of his songs. It just never seemed to work out that I could get to one of his shows. I’m so glad it worked out that night… I also found out he has a book that I WILL be buying soon. I did record one video of Stephen Kellogg, the closing song that he did. Enjoy. 🙂
I didn’t want to do this, but I’m going to break this up into two parts (posted immediately together, so there’s no real delay). Here’s the link to part two of the evening.
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Sometimes, things just don’t work out that way.
I wanted to do my concert recap next. As a matter of fact, I have the posts typed up already (yes, there will be two posts to do my concert recap from a week ago). Why am I waiting?
…because I need to take a picture of a tshirt and a poster that I haven’t taken a pic of yet, since they’re relevant to the post.
So why go ahead and make another post?
Because I want tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Truth of the matter is, I love blogging. I like communicating with people. But as an introverted anxious shy person who is always afraid of getting on people’s nerves, I rarely do reach out and talk to people. Why not just talk to myself like I’m doing here?
I second-guess myself quite a bit. Blame it on the anxiety or whatever… If I see that you have “read” my message but didn’t reply, the wheels start to roll. Are they busy? Are they annoyed with something I said? Do they not like me anymore??? Should I send another message? How soon is too soon to send another message? Should I send a picture or meme instead?! …and so on and so forth until I finally just either send a message or set the phone down and walk away.
One of the things I’m working on this year (not in a resolution type way, but in a doing better for myself way) is loving myself. I have virtually zero self-esteem and self-worth. I let people run all over me time and time again until I resemble a door mat. I know this isn’t healthy.
I’ve started saying some affirmations each time I see myself in the mirror. They may seem silly to some, but eventually I know they’re going to stick in my head. Things like,
I’m worthy.
I matter.
I have beautiful eyes.
My teeth may not be perfect, but I will get them fixed when I can afford it. I do have a nice smile, regardless.
I’m a good person.
I have a big heart.
I’m creative.
I am brave.
I deserve to receive the same love I give others.
I’m freaking hilarious!
…things like that.
If I don’t say those things to me, who will? I need to hear them to believe it. Reinforce the ideas that will help build me up and boost my self-confidence.
It’s a hard thing to do when all your life you haven’t felt worthy of anything.
But I deserve it. I’m worth it.
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Who is this HippoChick anyway?
Hi Friendos.
First of all, you’ll find that I say Friendo a lot when referring to all of you. Yes, I did swipe that phrase from Phil the peacock from Animal Crossing. He was one of my favorite villagers in ACNH although he has moved on to a different island now.
As I said with the previous post, my name’s Jenn. I’m a 40-something mom with a big heart and an insane backstory. I will NOT go into a lot of detail unless it’s something I’m comfortable sharing, so don’t ask. Don’t comment requesting to know a ton of intimate facts and information because you’re not getting it, and you’ll probably get blocked. But there ARE some things I don’t mind sharing…
- My favorite color is purple.
- I love most sports, but basketball is my favorite.
- I have three sisters.
- I have a number of nephews and neices.
- I have a German Shepherd mix dog who is currently a huge chunk of my world and my camera roll.
- My kids are mostly grown, but we have a good relationship.
- I’m overweight and want to do something about it, but not enough to go on a drastic diet or anything.
- I have a great relationship with my ex-husband (aka father of my kids).
- I’m a codependent with an anxious attachment style.
- I have a big heart and want the best for people, even if you’re no longer in my life for one reason or another.
- I love music and will go to as many live shows as I can make work with my schedule.
- I take too many selfies when I’m talking with a guy I like. (Oh yeah, I’m single-ish. But that’s a story for another day.)
- I love eyeliner.
- Jigglypuff is my favorite Pokemon.
- I have so much fun playing Fortnite even though I think I’m terrible at it (No Builds is the best mode, and I’ll fight anyone on that).
- Taking out the trash is probably my most hated chore.
- I’m cold all the time.
- And I love hippos. Like, LOVE them.
I think that’s enough for now. Next up is the concert recap from this week. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a fun ride!
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And so it begins…
Good day, friendo. I’m Jenn, aka HippoChick. (Nice to meet you.)
I first had a blog back 20-something years ago when my kids were very young. It was something fun for me to do and it also was my first venture into HTML and learning how to code.
That eventually led me to working for a web department for one of my jobs, then I had my own website and graphics design business.
Nowadays I’ve taken a step back from being a web-nerd, and I’m doing more physical creative work with metals and wood. Crafty should be my middle name.
I still do web projects on the side. Now I’m doing my own side project… this blog.
What’s the theme of this place gonna be? **shrug** Who knows?! Pretty much treating this as my online diary, my place to talk about whatever is on my mind and heart. But moreso than just internet ramblings, I may share things like book reviews, concert recaps (just went to an incredible show a few days ago that I’m DYING to talk about), recipes – who knows. This is truly going to be all of the musings of a middle-aged mom.
I will go into more detail in my next post about what I want to get out of this. For now, that is the introduction you get. If you come across this post – Hi! I encourage you to stick around and read a few posts. If this isn’t the place for you, no harm no foul. Simply move along and enjoy your web browsing experience. But if something in these ramblings and musings speaks to you, why not leave a comment? (Just be nice – I don’t tolerate negativity and meanness.)
Until later, take care of yourselves. We’ll chat soon.
~HippoChick
