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Sometimes, things just don’t work out that way.
I wanted to do my concert recap next. As a matter of fact, I have the posts typed up already (yes, there will be two posts to do my concert recap from a week ago). Why am I waiting?
…because I need to take a picture of a tshirt and a poster that I haven’t taken a pic of yet, since they’re relevant to the post.
So why go ahead and make another post?
Because I want tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Truth of the matter is, I love blogging. I like communicating with people. But as an introverted anxious shy person who is always afraid of getting on people’s nerves, I rarely do reach out and talk to people. Why not just talk to myself like I’m doing here?
I second-guess myself quite a bit. Blame it on the anxiety or whatever… If I see that you have “read” my message but didn’t reply, the wheels start to roll. Are they busy? Are they annoyed with something I said? Do they not like me anymore??? Should I send another message? How soon is too soon to send another message? Should I send a picture or meme instead?! …and so on and so forth until I finally just either send a message or set the phone down and walk away.
One of the things I’m working on this year (not in a resolution type way, but in a doing better for myself way) is loving myself. I have virtually zero self-esteem and self-worth. I let people run all over me time and time again until I resemble a door mat. I know this isn’t healthy.
I’ve started saying some affirmations each time I see myself in the mirror. They may seem silly to some, but eventually I know they’re going to stick in my head. Things like,
I’m worthy.
I matter.
I have beautiful eyes.
My teeth may not be perfect, but I will get them fixed when I can afford it. I do have a nice smile, regardless.
I’m a good person.
I have a big heart.
I’m creative.
I am brave.
I deserve to receive the same love I give others.
I’m freaking hilarious!
…things like that.
If I don’t say those things to me, who will? I need to hear them to believe it. Reinforce the ideas that will help build me up and boost my self-confidence.
It’s a hard thing to do when all your life you haven’t felt worthy of anything.
But I deserve it. I’m worth it.
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Who is this HippoChick anyway?
Hi Friendos.
First of all, you’ll find that I say Friendo a lot when referring to all of you. Yes, I did swipe that phrase from Phil the peacock from Animal Crossing. He was one of my favorite villagers in ACNH although he has moved on to a different island now.
As I said with the previous post, my name’s Jenn. I’m a 40-something mom with a big heart and an insane backstory. I will NOT go into a lot of detail unless it’s something I’m comfortable sharing, so don’t ask. Don’t comment requesting to know a ton of intimate facts and information because you’re not getting it, and you’ll probably get blocked. But there ARE some things I don’t mind sharing…
- My favorite color is purple.
- I love most sports, but basketball is my favorite.
- I have three sisters.
- I have a number of nephews and neices.
- I have a German Shepherd mix dog who is currently a huge chunk of my world and my camera roll.
- My kids are mostly grown, but we have a good relationship.
- I’m overweight and want to do something about it, but not enough to go on a drastic diet or anything.
- I have a great relationship with my ex-husband (aka father of my kids).
- I’m a codependent with an anxious attachment style.
- I have a big heart and want the best for people, even if you’re no longer in my life for one reason or another.
- I love music and will go to as many live shows as I can make work with my schedule.
- I take too many selfies when I’m talking with a guy I like. (Oh yeah, I’m single-ish. But that’s a story for another day.)
- I love eyeliner.
- Jigglypuff is my favorite Pokemon.
- I have so much fun playing Fortnite even though I think I’m terrible at it (No Builds is the best mode, and I’ll fight anyone on that).
- Taking out the trash is probably my most hated chore.
- I’m cold all the time.
- And I love hippos. Like, LOVE them.
I think that’s enough for now. Next up is the concert recap from this week. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a fun ride!
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And so it begins…
Good day, friendo. I’m Jenn, aka HippoChick. (Nice to meet you.)
I first had a blog back 20-something years ago when my kids were very young. It was something fun for me to do and it also was my first venture into HTML and learning how to code.
That eventually led me to working for a web department for one of my jobs, then I had my own website and graphics design business.
Nowadays I’ve taken a step back from being a web-nerd, and I’m doing more physical creative work with metals and wood. Crafty should be my middle name.
I still do web projects on the side. Now I’m doing my own side project… this blog.
What’s the theme of this place gonna be? **shrug** Who knows?! Pretty much treating this as my online diary, my place to talk about whatever is on my mind and heart. But moreso than just internet ramblings, I may share things like book reviews, concert recaps (just went to an incredible show a few days ago that I’m DYING to talk about), recipes – who knows. This is truly going to be all of the musings of a middle-aged mom.
I will go into more detail in my next post about what I want to get out of this. For now, that is the introduction you get. If you come across this post – Hi! I encourage you to stick around and read a few posts. If this isn’t the place for you, no harm no foul. Simply move along and enjoy your web browsing experience. But if something in these ramblings and musings speaks to you, why not leave a comment? (Just be nice – I don’t tolerate negativity and meanness.)
Until later, take care of yourselves. We’ll chat soon.
~HippoChick