There’s so much I want to say, but I still have to be guarded.

To the dude that’s (probably unintentionally) been messing with my head…

I spoke up the other day, telling you that the energy between us has felt different than what it was over the weekend. Yet I’m still the one texting first, I’m trying to make conversation and be a part of your day. I’m still going to be your friend, no matter what. But if you’re not interested please don’t lead me on.

The last conversation we had last night is telling me that your ex popping back into your life to say hello and she misses you is really consuming you… which tells me that even though you thought you were over her, you may not actually be. So imma step back I guess.

I’m so scared to truly put my heart out there again. I want to, and this time of year doesn’t help my loneliness. Time to take care of me.

I’m going to attempt to make this a healing weekend. Planting flower seeds, spending time with my kids, baking, reading, probably giving the dogs a bath (although that’ll be a point of soreness and stress, but they definitely need it)… Time to focus on what’s immediately in front of me and not be glued to my phone or video games.

Don’t get me wrong – when the sun goes down I’ll probably be on Fortnite or Marvel Rivals. Just gonna do real-world stuff too. Keep myself busy so I’m not driving myself crazy.