What a whirlwind. This will be a long post, btw.

About a week ago, someone came into my life on a personal level. They were an acquaintance through work, but I had taken care of a project for one of their family members. I had emailed and spoken to this person on the phone a few times. Thursday the project was done, so they came to pick it up in person.

Not gonna lie, dude was attractive. He talked to me and my coworker for a bit before he left.

…yet he continued to email me for the rest of the workday. Conversation was good, so I ended up sending emails from my personal email address. Dude was being flirty, and hey – I liked the attention… so why not?

We talked for a couple days over email, then moved it over to WhatsApp. We talked pretty consistently and regularly over there. Even tipsyJenn got in on it the other night, and I got wayyyyy too flirty, which he seemed to enjoy.

But yesterday things came to a halt. And I’m bothered by it, so I wanna talk about it.

I had this feeling gnawing at me, like there was something else going on… maybe he is married and just good at hiding it. I pushed it aside, knowing we weren’t doing anything except messaging and flirting some, so was it really so bad?

Yesterday I spoke to one of my coworkers from a different shop, and they have been friends with this dude for like 30 years. I didn’t ask my coworker about the guy because there were people around, but I DID message the guy and said “Just spoke to [coworker]. I swear if people hadn’t been nearby I would have asked him about you lol”

He replies “LOL!! That’s funny…….
that might not be a good idea though.
[My coworker] will talk to [owner of his place of business] and he will flip the hell out if he knows you and I “talk” with you working for [my boss]…
I know its none of his business but if [my coworker] says something then [his business owner] will lose his marbles bad…

I simply respond with “(thinking emoji) “Why?”

His reply:
“As a business owner he sees that we (business owners) [context: this dude is the VP of the company] can’t have anything but professional contact with customers or businesses that we do business with… I know that’s crazy but I can partly understand that…”

I read and re-read that message for a few minutes before replying with:
“That makes me sad, honestly. 1, that somebody else is butting into business that doesn’t concern them and 2, …I mean, come on, I work with my ex husband. I’m not your typical person that holds grudges, stuff wouldn’t affect business…. 3, so this is just for funsies then right? Like what if we had met outside of the workplace and then we figured out our companies do business with each other?”

Him:
“I know… we have a policy in our corporate stuff about personal relationship conflicts with vendors and customers of some sort. I think its to not jeopardize the business relationship or something like that…
Funsies? You mean just for fun? That’s not what I meant by telling you that you know. I just met you and its Way More than just funsies!!! We will have to see where we go as friends of the same interests…? “

But this isn’t sitting right with me. I reply:
“The business relationship in this instance wouldn’t be affected, honestly I don’t see how it could. These are [my boss’s] companies and all I am to him is an employee, not anyone that actually has any kind of power about anything. But whatever.
And by “just for funsies” I mean it was only intended to be talking because you knew it wasn’t going anywhere.”

Him:
“I completely understand what you are saying. That’s not at all why I started talking to you. I was very impressed with you especially when I met you the other day and I wanted to get to know you. I didn’t and don’t have any thoughts to just talk to you because I think it’s just fun. No way.”

And my reply:
“I’m just really confused. And honestly, I can’t tell if I’m sad or hurt. Pretty much because I don’t understand. Sorry, I’m just trying to process this.”

Him:
“There’s no way in a million years I’d wanna make you sad or hurt you.
You’re not gonna talk to me anymore?
I sure hope you don’t decide to do that…”

Me:
“I didn’t say that I wouldn’t talk to you anymore. I’m just trying to understand what the heck is happening.”

Him:
“Maybe I can try hard to re-explain what I sent you earlier??? I really don’t wanna be in a position where you won’t talk to me. Really I don’t.
… [him saying he has an appointment with a client coming up and will be unavailable for conversation]…
But I will message you in a bit.”

Me:
“We’re good. Take care of your customers. We can talk later. Maybe actually talk on the phone or something?”

Him:
“You are sweet!”

{Radio silence beginning at 1:09pm Wednesday}

He hadn’t even opened WhatsApp. I checked it a few times throughout the evening.

I sent a message at 9:42pm saying
“So you don’t want to talk to me?”

{Continued silence.}

When I get up this morning I do open WhatsApp just to see if he had been on at all. Still said he was “last seen at 1:09pm”. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmok.

My phone dinged at 6:43am as I was driving to work.

“I’m sorry. Yesterday turned into a shit show. My dad fell yesterday and ended up at the hospital and I was there until 2am this morning.”

When I got to work I replied:
(6:58am) “How’s your dad doing?”

(8:18am) “He’s stable, but they are still running tests. [proceeds to tell me what happened and how bad the injuries are.] I appreciate you asking.”

Me: (8:22am) “Of course, if there’s anything I can do let me know. I hate that this happened.”

{it’s currently 9:40am and no additional communication; he hasn’t even seen my message.}

So, dearest gentle readers… I’m obviously being played. But I’m trying to figure out to what extent. The dad thing could be for real, but for somebody that was even remotely interested in the person they were “talking” to… knowing that there was a need for an important conversation… wouldn’t you at least send some kind of text message between 1:09pm and midnight to indicate that there was some kind of incident keeping you from doing such things?

I’m understanding when it comes to family situations, and emergency situations… heck I can understand being busy with work or WHATEVER. But freaking communicate. Leaving me hanging for hours did nothing positive for you, only solidified the fact that this was all fun and games to you… playing me for a fool.

Part of me still thinks he’s married. Or in some kind of relationship that doesn’t leave him as free to talk.

To quote a fantastic song by one of my favorite bands Arrows In Action,

“Tired of feeling like the party’s over
When everybody says it’s just begun
A buck short and another day older
Guess I can’t outrun the sun
Not made of money, but it’s making sense
When how it goes just becomes how it went
Misdirecting my affection,
Guess I haven’t learned my lesson.”