In all things, choose kindness.

Many times we are quick to get frustrated when someone is having a hard time understanding us. Or we are fast to make fun of someone that may not see things the way that we do. All that ends up being accomplished is you make someone like you less.

Yesterday I was trying out a new software platform that’s being built by a friend and former boss. I was trying to build a site to use for my new job. I was emailing the project manager and asking questions because it wasn’t intuitive on what I needed to do, things didn’t make sense to me.

This person proceeds to say something along the lines of “well did you just scroll down? LOL, that option is there.” They made me feel stupid. Therefore the remainder of our interactions yesterday had tones of frustration and misunderstanding. I read the last email they sent me yesterday after I had already left the office. Yes, it still reads like they are frustrated by my misunderstanding of things (evidenced by the fact that I suggested that they provide a tutorial for a user’s first time on the custom content builder and they replied with “The tutorial is def a must.” ) They might have been agreeing with me there, but it reads like “of course we need one for idiots like you.” (They didn’t say it in those words but given our interactions throughout the day yesterday, that’s how it felt.)

Today is a new day. A new opportunity to do well and be successful and KIND.

Have a nice day, everyone.

I wanted to do my concert recap next. As a matter of fact, I have the posts typed up already (yes, there will be two posts to do my concert recap from a week ago). Why am I waiting?

…because I need to take a picture of a tshirt and a poster that I haven’t taken a pic of yet, since they’re relevant to the post.

So why go ahead and make another post?

Because I want tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Truth of the matter is, I love blogging. I like communicating with people. But as an introverted anxious shy person who is always afraid of getting on people’s nerves, I rarely do reach out and talk to people. Why not just talk to myself like I’m doing here?

I second-guess myself quite a bit. Blame it on the anxiety or whatever… If I see that you have “read” my message but didn’t reply, the wheels start to roll. Are they busy? Are they annoyed with something I said? Do they not like me anymore??? Should I send another message? How soon is too soon to send another message? Should I send a picture or meme instead?! …and so on and so forth until I finally just either send a message or set the phone down and walk away.

One of the things I’m working on this year (not in a resolution type way, but in a doing better for myself way) is loving myself. I have virtually zero self-esteem and self-worth. I let people run all over me time and time again until I resemble a door mat. I know this isn’t healthy.

I’ve started saying some affirmations each time I see myself in the mirror. They may seem silly to some, but eventually I know they’re going to stick in my head. Things like,

I’m worthy.

I matter.

I have beautiful eyes.

My teeth may not be perfect, but I will get them fixed when I can afford it. I do have a nice smile, regardless.

I’m a good person.

I have a big heart.

I’m creative.

I am brave.

I deserve to receive the same love I give others.

I’m freaking hilarious!

…things like that.

If I don’t say those things to me, who will? I need to hear them to believe it. Reinforce the ideas that will help build me up and boost my self-confidence.

It’s a hard thing to do when all your life you haven’t felt worthy of anything.

But I deserve it. I’m worth it.